A WORD FOR OUR FANS!
by ilikebeingseductivelyawesome
Summary: the crew of Black Butler want to have a word with you all, after reading some FanFictions, that is!
1. Chapter 1

_**OKAY THIS IS A ONESHOT BECAUSE, HELL, I'M BORED AND NO ONE REVIEWS ME): SO MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW... KAY?(; AND IF YOU REVIEW ME A QUESTION (OR PM THAT'S COOL, TOO) I CAN HAVE CIEL RESPOND TO IT! IN HIS... CIEL WAY...*COUGH* ON WITH THE SHOW!**_

_**SHORT SUMMARY: CIEL AND SEBASTIAN WANT TO HAVE A WORD WITH THEIR FANGIRLS... AND IT'S NOT A PRETTY CONVERSATION.(;**_

*kisses and disses*

"Is this thing on?"

"Yes, My Lord."

"Okay. Finni, put the camera on me!" *Ciel rubs his temples*. "Sebastian and I have made a list of rules that we expect you all to-"

"SEBASSSSTIIIIAAAAAANNNNNn!" *MayRin runs into the room*.

*Ciel stands up and smacks her across the face*. "How DARE you interrupt me in the middle of something important?" *She runs off the screen crying*.

"Bocchan," *Sebastian walks onto the screen*. "That wasn't very kind of you." *he stands behind Ciel's chair, like a good butler*.

"Sebastian, I don't recall asking you you're opinion. Now hand me the stupid papers, so I can get this over with." *Sebastian hands him a long list*. "Rule 1) STOP MAKING ME GAY! I realize, it's your fangirl dreams for me to want Sebatian, but let me remind you, he. Is. My. Servant! I would NEVER stoop so low as to-" *Sebastian kisses him and Ciel replies enthusiastically*.

*Sebastian steals list and reads off of it while Ciel trys to catch his breath*. "Rule 2) I will never, in my life and on Bocchan's soul, mate with Claude. He is like my kin, and I find it disturbing. Frankly, he looks so much like me it would be like me fucking myself! I might as well jack off while watching myself in the mirror!" *He looks irritated while Ciel laughs*.

"!" *MayRin runs back on screen*. "Someone arrived looking for-" *Claude runs on screen*.

"Have you seen His Majesty?" *Ciel goes pale at the thought of Alois in his manor*. "Never mind then." *Claude runs away, and MayRin scampers out*.

*Ciel rips the paper out of Sebastian's hand, and reads the next one*. "Rule 3) I wouldn't even contemplate doing Alois... and I don't want to talk about how many of the poor excuses of literature I have read that indicate I-" *he coughs*"-Love him!" *he shakes his head, blushing* "Rule 4) Although William and Grell appreciate your thoughts on them, they would appreciate it if you stopped making them a couple. William is very straight, and Grell pointed out that William is to, and I quote, 'he's stiff! I mean, does he have a stick up his butt or something? Unless he does... I should ask him...'."

*Sebastian giggles like a fangirl* "Rule 5) I do not wish to partake in any 'acts' with MayRin. I find her incompetant and aggravating." *He rubs the bridge of his nose as the shouting in the background sounds like "NO! Sebastian said-" and "BUUUUUT I NEEEED TOO!"*.

"Rule 6) I rather dislike the thought of my father never dying and Sebastian 'making his toes curl'." *Ciel shudders*. "It frightens me."

Grell pops on screen. "Oh Sebby-chan~! Don't forget our dateeeeee ;)." *he grabs Sebastian who is frozen with shock and pauses*. "Rule 7) Always make me a woman! IT MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE!"

*Ciel attempts to grab Sebby, but misses*. "Damn that Death God. He took the paper too. Now I can't refer to anything..." *he walks out mumbling to himself*. "WHAT THE HELL IS ALOIS DOING IN MY BEDROOM!"

*Finni jumps in front of camera* "Also, it would be kind if you could not make me, Bard, and MayRin into a "threesome". OKAY THANK YOU!" *he smiles adorably and winks, shutting off the camera*

*kisses and disses*

_**ME: SOOO, HOW WAS IT?**_

_**CIEL: BITCH! YOU MADE ME GAY, EVEN THOUGH I SAID I WASN'T!**_

_**ME: NO ONE SAID I HAD TO LISTEN TO YOU, PHANTOMHIVE! *PATS HIS HEAD!***_

_**SEBASTIAN: *SLAPPING MY HAND AWAY* NO TOUCHY MY UKE!**_

_**ME: *FANGIRL SQUEAL AND PASSES OUT***_

_**FINNI: PLEASE REVIEW WITH QUESTIONS OR PM MORE RULES! NOW, I'M OFF TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS YOUNG GIRL ;)**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**OKAY THANKS FOR YOUR NON-REPLIES! *SARCASTIC LAUGH AS I RIP OFF BARBIE HEADS* SO SINCE I'M SUPER-NICE, I WROTE ANOTHER CHAPTER ANYWAYS!**_

*kisses and disses*

"Finni, the camera." *camera turns towards Bard, who is lighting a cigarette and leaning on a chair* "Hello, my Bardgirls(; [1]" *nobody squeals* "Okay, so there aren't very many Bardgirls. But, the servants want a list of rules as well! It's not fair that Bocchan and Sebastian get all the attention! WE ARE THE BEHIND-THE-SCENES CREW! THEY'D BE NOTHING WITHOUT US, AND IT'S TIME WE GOT SOME FUC-!" *Finni mutes the camera, while Bard keeps yelling*

*MayRin runs into the room to pull him out, she looks apologetic*

*Finni unmutes the camera and jumps in front of it* "Hey, umm... my fans?" *random girls squeal and panties get thrown on screen, and Finni blushes*

"FINNI!" *Hannah runs on screen and tackles him* "Rule 8) FINNI IS MINE! Don't pair him up with Bard, Sebastian, Ciel, Grell, or William! It's fine with Ronald, but no girls! Or boys!"*She runs off screen, dragging Finni behind while she's squealing madly*

*kisses and disses*

[1] A Bardgirl happens to be a fangirl, but I thought it clever to make it into his first name. Probably wasn't the cutest thing

*kisses and disses*

"Grell. Why are you doing the camera? Where is Finni?"

"Oh, William~! Why do you hate me?" *A big red blur flies over to hug William*

*He adjusts his posture, and fixes his glasses* "Rule 9) Again, as I'm pretty sure that DEMON and little boy didn't mention it correctly, do not, under ANY circumstances, make me and Grell into a couple. He is over-energetic, and I am not interested in guys." *He sighs, and pushes Grell off of him*

*Grell flies across the room, and then starts crying dramatically. He finally calms down, and stands in front of the camera* "And William acts like he has a stick up his butt, even though he claims he's straight. Silly boy." *Grell leans into Will, and they start making out*

*Will pulls away and sighs* "Grell, you forgot to turn off the camera."

"WILLIAM, WHY DO YOU TRY TO HIDE OUR LOVE?" *Grell runs off camera crying.*

"Spears, why are you in the manor?" *Sebastian walks into the room, cracking his knuckles*

*Will stands up, and turns towards the camera again.* "Rule 10) I would never sleep with this DEMON!" *He jumps out the window and FLIES AWAY!*

*Sebastian stares in awe* "Wow..."

*camera turns off*

*kisses and disses*

_**ME: WELL, HOW INTERSTING!**_

_**WILL: I'M STILL NOT GAY!**_

_**GRELL: DON'T HIDE OUR LOVE!**_

_**CIEL: WHY WASN'T I IN THIS CHAPTER?**_

_**ME: YOU CAN BE IN THE NEXT ONE, FOR A PRICE(;**_

_**SEBASTIAN: I TOLD YOU. *HE CRACKS HIS KNLUCKLES* NO TOUCHY MY UKE!**_

_**ME: *FANGIRL SQUEAL* SOOO KAWAIII!**_

_**FINNI: NO USE TRYING TO MAKE ME JEALOUS!**_

_**ME: *STARTS GIVING A LAPDANCE TO A TERRIFIED CIEL* OH REALLY?**_

_**FINNI: *KNOCKS ME OUT* HEEEHEE~~~ REVIEW PLEASE!**_


End file.
